i just got home from spending the weekend at Kim's in Utah...i left my window open and it snowed while i was gone.

my room is FREEZING!!!!

and snow in June..dumb.

anyway...Amanda and i spent the weekend at sisters. so glad she is so close or i might lose my mind. we all went and saw Marmaduke. i love great danes. and dogs in general. a lot. and Hannah does too..it makes me really proud=) she did well for her first movie! i made dinner for us and Kim made cookies so it was a pretty darn good night. oh and USA didn't lose to England! i wish they would have won and not tied..but ill settle for a tie.

last week at work was orientation. great information but fairly boring. one thing we did that wasn't boring was voices training. we all spent an hour or so with a headset on that is a recording of what someone with a psych disorder would hear. it was crazy. and creepy. and scary. it was TERRIBLE. you couldn't concentrate on anything and everything you heard was so negative. the person who had the cd recorded had overcome her diagnosis and wanted people to know what it was like to be her. let me tell ya...it would be awful.

*my room...still freezing.

Friday i went back to work. i had to fill out my biweekly report since i have now been there for two weeks. one of the main things i wrote was that i needed to become more confident in working with the psych population and geriatric population and my supervisor asked why i felt so uncomfortable. i began to tell her that older people just make me sad and that i didn't really have a reason they just did. well she did a great job of trying to make me feel better telling me that when she first started at that unit she was worried about working with older people but that she had grown to love the population because they lived full lives and earned all of the stories that they had to tell. the whole time i was biting my lip and nodding my head. she went on to tell me/warn me that the only bad thing was that she had lost 7 previous clients (still trying to help, bless her heart) but that you learn to deal and learn to distance yourself from clients but still have a relationship with them. THEN she asked if i had ever lost anyone. i lost it. i started bawling. some of my best friends have never seen my cry and here i am sitting in my office bawling my eyes out in front of my supervisor. it was awful. not professional. needless to say...not doing so great with the loss...stupid things like tomatoes make me want to cry. someone asked if i liked fish..the only fish i ever ate was my grandpas. i just really didn't think it would be so hard. or that it would be easier by now. i cant keep running to the bathroom to cry.

i realize i keep bringing up that topic. i apologize. but i dont do well talking about stuff...so im using this. my eyes hurt. whew.

ill try to leave on a little funny note....one of the men on my until threw their hearing aids away and cant hear a blooming thing. well during group the other day we were talking about presidents and i asked if he remembered Eisenhower and he look and me and said, "what about peanut butter and jelly?" nothing about pb & j. absolutely nothing. lol

two weeks down. eight to go.