The Brightest Crayon=)

2010-06-21T00:27:00.001-05:00

if i didn't doubt myself so much....the possibilities could be endless.

2010-06-14T00:10:00.002-05:00

i just got home from spending the weekend at Kim's in Utah...i left my window open and it snowed while i was gone.

my room is FREEZING!!!!

and snow in June..dumb.

anyway...Amanda and i spent the weekend at sisters. so glad she is so close or i might lose my mind. we all went and saw Marmaduke. i love great danes. and dogs in general. a lot. and Hannah does too..it makes me really proud=) she did well for her first movie! i made dinner for us and Kim made cookies so it was a pretty darn good night. oh and USA didn't lose to England! i wish they would have won and not tied..but ill settle for a tie.

last week at work was orientation. great information but fairly boring. one thing we did that wasn't boring was voices training. we all spent an hour or so with a headset on that is a recording of what someone with a psych disorder would hear. it was crazy. and creepy. and scary. it was TERRIBLE. you couldn't concentrate on anything and everything you heard was so negative. the person who had the cd recorded had overcome her diagnosis and wanted people to know what it was like to be her. let me tell ya...it would be awful.

*my room...still freezing.

Friday i went back to work. i had to fill out my biweekly report since i have now been there for two weeks. one of the main things i wrote was that i needed to become more confident in working with the psych population and geriatric population and my supervisor asked why i felt so uncomfortable. i began to tell her that older people just make me sad and that i didn't really have a reason they just did. well she did a great job of trying to make me feel better telling me that when she first started at that unit she was worried about working with older people but that she had grown to love the population because they lived full lives and earned all of the stories that they had to tell. the whole time i was biting my lip and nodding my head. she went on to tell me/warn me that the only bad thing was that she had lost 7 previous clients (still trying to help, bless her heart) but that you learn to deal and learn to distance yourself from clients but still have a relationship with them. THEN she asked if i had ever lost anyone. i lost it. i started bawling. some of my best friends have never seen my cry and here i am sitting in my office bawling my eyes out in front of my supervisor. it was awful. not professional. needless to say...not doing so great with the loss...stupid things like tomatoes make me want to cry. someone asked if i liked fish..the only fish i ever ate was my grandpas. i just really didn't think it would be so hard. or that it would be easier by now. i cant keep running to the bathroom to cry.

i realize i keep bringing up that topic. i apologize. but i dont do well talking about stuff...so im using this. my eyes hurt. whew.

ill try to leave on a little funny note....one of the men on my until threw their hearing aids away and cant hear a blooming thing. well during group the other day we were talking about presidents and i asked if he remembered Eisenhower and he look and me and said, "what about peanut butter and jelly?" nothing about pb & j. absolutely nothing. lol

two weeks down. eight to go.

2010-06-02T17:50:00.004-05:00

now that i get off work at four and dont have much to do i have a feeling i will be updating this a lot more. i also feel like i actually have things to talk about now.

day 2...survived=)

this morning i had to go and get blood work done..fun right? it wasnt to bad....

doing all my reading this morning about our clients was very insightful. i read a lot about dementia and Alzheimer's (im with the old folks remember?) i couldnt help but be thankful that we didnt have to see any of that with my grandpa. i was reading all about visitations and how to make it better on the client and family. seeing some of our clients that do have those diagnosis..i could never imagine seeing my grandpa that way. it was hard enough just seeing him sick. i miss that man like crazy. but have been doing suprisingly better that i thought i would working with older people. i figured the first time i saw any of the older men i would just cry. i will always miss him but we were lucky that we didnt have to go through all the nursing home/declining health stuff...he used to say "im glad you got to see me today" i would give a lot to just see him again.

on a funnier note...we have a rather large nurse in our unit and she was giving one of the men his meds and he was refusing to take them and he said it was because he never wanted to get fat like her. it would be funnier if you knew this man and this nurse lol he is also the man that they told me to watch out for because he grabs boobs.

my friend amanda and i are wanting to become friends with the locals so we can go ride horses and 4 wheelers all the time so we went to a bar last night where we were by far the youngest by a 30 year or so age gap. we got called young phillies by all the guys there....it was interesting. i dont think there is anyone our age in this town. i like it here though. its reallly really pretty and the weather is way different...like long sleeves and jeans and its comfortable. it was 90 in oklahoma. yikes. i do miss the lake though and my sweet Rev..i miss him a whole lot! mommy and daddy are taking great care of them though=)

wwwyyyoming

2010-06-01T22:51:00.003-05:00

if punctuation bothers you....dont read this. you will be annoyed.

welp...today was the first day at the new internship.

but first of all i would just like to point out how great God is. He answered my prayers for sure...this summer and last summer i went in praying that i just make a friend that i can be myself around and relate to...last summer i met meagan who has been such a blessing in my life and was a relief and answered prayer. when i got to wyoming yesterday i left my door open just hoping someone would be my friend and i met my neighbor amanda. we went to dinner together and were talking and i found out that she had already found a baptist church (everyone is mormon up here) she listens to country and we went exploring and found a little pond/lake/puddle thing it was so pretty. she also loves teeth. so well be friends for sure.=)

my room is really nice..i mean as nice as a dorm room can be. it came with a mini fridge, a micowave, and a tv. it also has a walk in closet and a full size bed...so its bigger than anything ive had at the kaydee lol

i bought a coffee pot today. it made me feel like a grown up.

i got a lot of keys today...everything is locked down. go figure...it is a psych facility. i also got a panic button thing i press if anything bad happens but i dont think i will use it. they dont use them often. im working geri psych (older people) which is another one of those trust the Lord things because i dont do well with old people. i get really sad....i got to meet some of our clients today and we had a birthday party for one of the guys which was fun. my orientation is next week because this week was a short week so i dont get to do much until after that is complete. im just glad i survived my first day, i have a friend, and i get to wake up to coffee in the morning. the Lord is good=)

2010-05-21T00:30:00.002-05:00

laying in my big ol bed watching tv, typing this on my laptop, and my iphone is on my pillow.

i take so many things for granted.

i dont deserve any of this but i am thankful for it.

my parents do so many things so me i dont deserve at all.

i mean...my mom is riding 24 hours in a car with me to wyoming so i dont have to do it alone. shes crazy. but i think she knows i wouldnt do it without her:/

im sad i dont get to spend the summer at home. i enjoy their company a lot=)

not so tough anymore

2010-01-24T00:23:00.004-06:00

I thought that I had forgotten my password to this by now....but to my surprise i havent.

ive never been one to talk about feelings. heck. i dont even understand what im feeling 90 percent of the time so i put a smile on my face because its easier....and everyone always says you look prettier with a smile so what the heck=) and 80 percent of the time it is genuine. which i am so thankful for.

my mind has just been racing lately with thoughts and questions...so much to the point that i worked ahead on homework today and studied so i could drown out my own thoughts.

my picture might just be in the dictionary next to the word indecisive. its like pulling teeth to get me to make a decision.

making decisions at this point in my life is terrifying. and literally making me sick.

the decisions i am making are impacting so much more than the next few days but a big chunk of my future....i just dont want to make the wrong one. i dont even know what to aim for at this point. i am doubting everything i do because i dont want to miss the mark...i dont want to sell myself short. i want to make the most of the person i am suppose to be. i want to follow in Gods will for what he has planned in my life. i want to make everyone around me proud. am i even on the right track now?

i never even knew i would be here at this point....
- im in college at a big 12 school
- living in a sorority house surrounded by people i love
- single. and surprisingly content
- months away from moving into a house with my best friends (that i have no clue how to pay for)

i mean when did i even get old enough to have a house with my friends? we signed a real lease and everything...my parents didnt even look at it first lol....

on another note...i dont understand why i am so lucky. i am so blessed. blessed beyond measure and it scares me because i feel like its too good to be true. i feel like i am going to wake up one day and its all going to be gone. i havent done anything to earn any of it. i have nightmares about it...

and i saw a man walking outside tonight with one glove on. i wondered if he was homeless and could only find one glove and i just thought why him? why not me? there are so many people hurting in this world...i have it so easy. thinking about people suffering in Haiti and other places in the world makes it ten time worse that i spent so much time complaining about where to do my internship yesterday. it just seems so selfish when they are worrying about where their next meal is coming from. i take so much for granted.

through the mess of my rambling i think its clear that you could sum this up into me being scared. i try to be the girl with the smile on her face that has it all together but right now, right now im just scared.

2009-05-14T00:03:00.004-05:00

well...i am already horrible at remembering to update this but its about to be worse lol.
i am going to be gone for the next three months to the greatest place on earth. i will be serving on the adventure crew at camp barnabas=) i am so very excited and also nervous so if you are reading this prayers would be greatly appreciated...especially tomorrow as i drive ALL BY MYSELF! if you would like to get in touch with me you can write me a letter or send me an email! i will get the emails daily....the people at the office print them and deliver them so i cant promise you that they wont be read! =)

here is the address and if you want me to write you back send your address=)
Camp Barnabas
Kristen Garrett, staff
901 Private Road 2060
Purdy, MO 65734

and here is the email
write to: camper@campbarnabas.org
in the subject line write: Kristen Garrett, Staff

i will be home for a short visit in July and then i wont come home again until August=)
ill miss you all!
thank you for your prayers=)

2009-05-05T00:06:00.003-05:00

i dont know why i spend so much time stressing over the future or my plans for life. it is nothing but a waste of time.

Jeremiah 29:11. its all in His hands.

but as far as my requests are concerned....

i would like my best friend to be closer
i would like to live at camp barnabas forever--but after reading 50ish bios of other staff so do they...
i would like to open orphanages in other countries....there are so many kids on the streets. it breaks my heart into a million pieces.
i would like to eat all the ice cream in the world without getting fat
i would like to be able to rescue all the dogs from the humane society
i would like for my day dreams about saving the world to be realistic but sometimes they arent...i cant help it....

2009-04-30T11:17:00.004-05:00

calf fry week=)
what some would say is one of the best weeks everrrrrr! 4 nights of concerts for less than 50 dollars...cant beat it. only its been coming a flood around here lately putting a damper on it. last night they had to move pat green inside and there were a whole lot of people in that little ol building. its raining right now but im crossing my fingers for outside tonight for randy rogers and miranda lambert=)

eventful would be an understatement of what last night was like...about everything that could have gone wrong did. shannons printer wouldnt work which is where we were gonna print our tickets so we had to run to the drummond computer lab before we drove out there, when we go there parking was in the grass...leahs car got stuck. when the tractor was pulling her out the chair slipped and ripped a hose out from under her car. we couldnt see pat green. stupid boy was a meanie. we lost leah. it was just a mess. but were optimistic about tonight!!!!!! =)

i got home at about 130 and talked to becca for a little bit....she fixes everything=) she made it all better lol...we had the best life talk ever the other night. she is phenomenal! anyway..went to bed at 23oish and had to babysit this morning at 830. awesome. im sleepy...

im watching how to lose in a guy in ten days...i think its a mixture of the rain outside my sleepiness and me being upset about stupid boy but its making sad...it was just the part where they were at his house and that song it feels like home to me is playing... i love home. everything about it....when we went to his house the other day...i loved it too. but truth be told its probably going no where. after this next week...we wont see each other for three months. so....i keep trying to say it was fun while it lasted. i tried not to care...but that plan obviously didnt work. bllllaaaaahhhh.

im gonna finish this movie...have a good one=)

2009-04-27T00:24:00.002-05:00

so my post the other day was me being not nice to the male species.
ughh. they are so frustrating dont ya know....
im not the type of girl that always has to have a boy because i get annoyed with them so easily...i have plenty going on in my life so i dont need to try to fit you into it...thats my philosophy...even when i am kinda talking to someone or whatever i dont feel the need for us to see each other every day or even talk everyday for all i care...
i havent genuinely liked someone since ive come to college....until now.
its so dumb. and frustrating. why do i finally meet someone i really like when im about to be at camp all summer so we wont be able to see each other or talk for 3 months. i already know the answer to this trust me. and i believe it dont get me wrong...if its meant to happen it will...but that doesnt make it less frustrating.
who knows...im probably already getting ahead of my self...we still have two weeks of school left and things could even fall apart before then...but im hoping it doesnt.

i will say though that i do still have common sense about the whole thing...we went and got ice cream together tonight and he asked me to come watch a movie and i said no because i have a paper to write...smart me even though i wanted to hang out...my friend on the other hand who has the same paper and a crush on a boy is there currently and worrying that she will be up all night working on it....but thats a chance she is willing to take if it means spending time with her boy. lol....stupid boys....they make people crazy.

anyway....about that paper=/

the answer is luau

2009-04-22T23:21:00.003-05:00

so it luau week...our annual weeklong date party.

sunday night-put flamingos in our dates yard/in front of their fraternity house
monday night-serenade the boys and give them buckets/coolers full of fun stuff like drinks candy and inflatable beach balls or palm trees
tuesday night- Margaritaville..cookout in the senior lot
wednesday night- senior night
thursday night- fire up...function where each girl gets to bring 3 friends...most fun night ever
friday night- shaving cream fight at boomer
saturday night- LUAU date party=)

so it wednesday..senior night. we spent three hours at lake carl blackwelll and each senior got to talk about what our sorority meant to them and give shout outs to whoever they felt worthy. listening to these girls talk made me appreciate so much what i have here. there are many days i hate it and do not think it is worth it in any way but when it all comes down to it it is one of the best decisions i have ever made and i am truly blessed to have these girls as sisters. our mom had a fire set up out there so i smell like camp fire..i kinda like it.

im so tired but i dont want to get up and brush my teeth and wash my face...so instead im blogging and eating rainbow colored goldfish! =) doesnt get much better than that.

2009-04-20T18:10:00.001-05:00

i hate boys.
i hate boys.
i hate boys.

thats all=)

hating technology

2009-04-09T19:49:00.002-05:00

well...school is crazy right now. i knew it would be like this...i would have all this free time then a lot of work that would hit me like a ton of red bricks. boy was i right...

i have a ten page paper, two-two page papers, and a six page paper to do by monday. well i began working on all this around two this afternoon which is pretty good for me..BUT my computer has now crashed twice! i almost threw it and stomped on it but then realized that would make getting these things done just as much trouble. i hate english/writing. its always been my worst subject....im not in the best mood about it...

to cheer myself up i bought some songs on iTunes from the hannah montana movie and got a kids meal at mcalisters=) when i get stressed i do kid things so i can avoid the fact that im growing up and have responsibilities...i wanna be five again. life was so simple. no homework or heartbreak.

on a more positive note i helped build a sandcastle today for kappa sig Krazy Dayz which was pretty fun...we had to do two events to help support their philanthropy so i did that and i bought a tshirt (i have lots of tshirts with greek letters on them)

i also signed up for a luau shirt today and just laughed and said im going to look like sister sorority at barnabas because all of my shirts are greek things..lame.

im leaving for camp so soon...weird. but exciting. its the happiest place on earth.

americas next top model=)

2009-04-07T11:47:00.004-05:00

like i mentioned before i live in a house with more than 70 girls...there is one big screen downstairs and one upstairs so its not always convenient to watch tv because of class meeting or just being out voted and someone else getting to pick the channel so since its tuesday (babysitting day) i get to watch tv all by myself! lucky for me there is an americas next top model marathon on right now! love it=)

favorite celebrities= Tyra Banks Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus! they are the best. and GUESS WHAT?!?! they are all in the Hannah Montana movie that comes out on friday!! cant wait...sister and mom and gonna watch it with me saturday..because hannah wants to see it of course.

in my last post it said that the countdown to home was 4 days but i actaully left the next day. oops. i didnt have class on thursday and one of my classes was canceled on friday so i just decided to leave. thursday night we went to a meet and greet with burns hargis (Oklahoma State President) and the chamber banquet...i love burns. hes so wonderful. bub was here too=)

i love being at home and its so nice that Kim is here! and we got to see Carla and baby Garrett...i have the best family ever...dinner was so fun Friday night because we were all together.
we went to Garretts baby shower on Saturday too and that was fun girl time=)

since kim michael and hannah are still here im going home again this weekend...but i probably would anyway since its Easter. im going to the soccer game friday night so that will be fun.

im coaching a soccer game tonight for the YMCA...i coach the little three and four year olds..they are cute!

the rest of the week...not so exciting. test and paper tomorrow test on friday and then paper and presentation due on monday. all my teacher decided to make everything due the exact same week...and i just wanna take a nap lol

its about time for ian to wake up...
peace out boyscout

adventures in babysitting...

2009-04-01T01:55:00.004-05:00

let me start by saying i have a 7 page paper due in 8 and a half hours....i have three pages right now. its 2 in the morning. but...oh well i have diet coke and banana laffy taffy! my favorite=)

on tuesdays i babysit for the cutest little boys Ian and Eli. i have Ian all day and he is nine months old and i get Eli for about an hour or two after he gets home from kindergarten..hes five. this little job is the best thing ever. let me tell ya...their parents are just the nicest people ever, i get a little extra spending money, and its wonderful birth control....i love ian to death but for someone so little he definitely knows how to push my buttons sometimes and he had a really stinky nasty poo today. he makes up for it all when he decides he wants to cuddle though=) and Eli...oh precious eli. today he handed me a pencil and told me it was his magic wand and that i could cast a few spells if i wanted...thanks buddy. thats special. he loves to test me because he knows i dont know all the rules..he lies sometimes. stephanie (his mom) said she thinks its because he has a crush on me.

while im there i do a few chores like the dishes and cleaning the floors...nothing to complicated. well today while ian was down for his morning nap i swept the kitchen and living room floor and mopped. good great yeah.well when ian woke up for lunch he had some rice and some chicken...the chicken he can feed himself but not so much the rice. well...he likes to be independent and he got mad at me when i wouldnt let him hold the fork so he hit the fork and rice went everywhere. stage two of this fit he started picking up pieces of chicken that were on his tray and throwing them on the floor as well. thanks a lot...it wasnt clean or anything.

another chore i did today was i swept the back porch...well while i was out there wouldnt you know that their neighbor was taking their dog out to use the restroom and it was a GREAT DANE! are you joking? of all the dogs in the world! it was so close...but not close enough for me to say hi or pet it. i was jealous. really really jealous. it was even a harlequin... i want one so bad.

the boys were really really good today though..and i didnt have to watch yo gabba gabba...that added about two stars on to my already wonderful day i was having=)

after i left i met my twin (greek family twin...not real life) kadee and hannah at chilis. we were having cajun broil at the house. sick. its still stinks here from them cooking it...but the real reason we went is because it is greek week and they donated a certain percentage of our meal to something..? our waiter was really good looking so they left him my number. awkward right? gotta love being the single friend. im the one that somehow always ends up taking random people to stuff so that their date will have a friend there...am i nice or what?

after dinner i showered and tanned. i and did everything in the world but that paper....i should really finish it.

countdown to home: four days=)

ps. i meet with my advisor tomorrow to talk about my schedule for next year. my junior year! when did i get this old? SCARY!

twice already?

2009-03-30T18:29:00.000-05:00

i guess i just feel better now that i have the awkward first post out of the way.

so i am in a sorority=) and i do love it...some days=/ but being a picky eater is one downside to it. for dinner tonight i ate a roll and a brownie...and i wonder why im not wearing size small shirts anymore? lol with my food i like to keep it simple. sort of like a five year old...but no..the chicken had something green and red and cheesy all melted on top. no thank you. another downside to this house is the screaming in the next room now because someone just went facebook official with the guy they are dating. it wonderful living with over 70 girls.

and people wondered why all my closests friends were guys....not hard to explain. i hate not having Jordon here speaking of.... thats him=) weve been best friends since we were two...hes the best.

im about to go to a healthy relationship seminar before i go to chapter...good thing because of all these relationships im in. yeah right! i hate relationships. no...i hate dating. i know that my time will come blah blah and God has the perfect person for me. which is great and i really do believe that but right now no one is showing any promise. ill be really thankful for the day i do meet that guy though....it will be nice to finally understand why it didnt work out with anyone else.

off to the seminar and chapter....yippee=)

i joined the club=)

2009-03-30T16:08:00.000-05:00

I have a blog! yah!

i chose to name it the brightest crayon because people always tell me im not the brightest crayon in the box and this is my blog so i get to decide that i am=) if i was a crayon i would pick silver because its my favorite color....even though this is green...that's just because i don't know how to work this yet...and kissybeth is my nickname from when i was really little...only family and really close friends can get away with calling me that these days but when they do i love it because it means that they have been a part of my life for a long time and that i love them a whole lot.

anyway...im not sure who will read this. im going to assume its just my family because my life isn't very entertaining and no one will want to spend their time reading this...BUT i read peoples that i don't know so maybe someone will stumble upon it...if you do my name is Kristen=) just for starters. lol.

I'm probably going to use this to ramble...im kind of random and talk alot so ill just do it on here so i don't continue to annoy my room ates with the same ol stories all the time=) and a few warnings---i wont punctuate much which will bother people im sure...but its just not happening because it doesn't bother me=) and i use a lot of smiley faces but you probably already caught on to both of those things. I'm just a very carefree happy person. one of my professors said i was a walking exclamation point. i don't think he said it as a compliment but i took it as one!

ill probably update a lot...you may think its because i have no life...but its really because i procrastinate so ill probably blog instead of study=/ oopsie!